Search
  • Jules Ku-Lea

How to STOP Worrying in 6 Steps


Worrying cranks up your mind like a wind-up toy, gnarls at your insides, and interferes with living a full life. You know worrying is a waste of time and mental energy. You know worrying isn't beneficial for your mental, physical, and emotional health. And you know worrying robs you from the moment.

But you still do it.

Here's the thing. You cannot NOT worry!

Sure, some people worry more than others. But the reason WHY we do is because our minds are wired this way! Why? To protect us from danger— but that's a whole other blog post!

Today, I'll be sharing 6 steps on how to reduce your SOLVABLE worries.

But first....

What the heck are solvable worries?

Solvable worries, put simply— are worries that can be solved! Such as:

-"I don't have enough money for rent"

-"I had a fight with my spouse"

-"My child is acting up a lot in class"

What are unsolvable worries?

Unsolvable worries are worries that cannot be solved. They are more unrealistic and future focused. Such as:

-"The plane may crash when we fly to Mexico"

-"My spouse may have a car accident"

-"My child may join the wrong crowd and start doing drugs"

When you worry, does your mind spin like a merry-go-round? Do you have a hard time thinking rationally? Do you dwell on the situation, which leaves you unprepared if it did come true?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, that's totally normal!

But what can you do about it?

Problem-solving

What is problem-solving?

Problem-solving is a useful life skill that focuses on how to effectively deal with the problem. You do this by creating a clear plan on how to BEST tackle the situation.

Instead of dwelling on the worry, you can take mindful and purposeful action.

To prepare yourself for problem-solving you will need:

  • A quiet time where you can be alone and think

  • A piece of paper and pen (it's important to get the thoughts out of the noggin and onto the page)

Read on to discover how these 6 Steps will reduce your solvable worries!

Why not think of your OWN solvable problem, and work with it as we go through the steps.

STEP 1: Determine if there IS a problem to solve

It's crucial to determine if your problem is a SOLVABLE worry or an UNSOLVABLE worry. Problem solving only works with SOLVABLE worries.

You'll know your problem is SOLVABLE if you answer YES to the two questions below:

-Is the problem something happening now?

-Is the problem something I have control over?

Step 2: Identify the problem

Define the problem. Remember, the problem must be SOLVABLE! Try to define the problem objectively.

For example...

Problem defined: I don't have enough money to pay for rent

Step 3: Solutions Brainstorm

Next, create a list of solutions. This is a mind dump, so don't worry about the quality of the solutions. Be creative and get everything out on paper.

My Solutions

  • Ask my landlord if I can postpone rent by one month

  • Borrow money from friends/family/roommates

  • Pick up a couple extra shifts at work

  • Sell some of my possessions to pay the bills

  • See a financial counsellor to help me sort out my finances

Next, eliminate the options that do not make sense and list the remaining options in order of preference.

1. Ask my landlord if I can postpone rent by one month

2. Pick up a couple extra shifts at work

3. See a financial counsellor to help me sort out my finances

STEP 4: Pros and Cons

Take a look at your top solutions and look at the pros and cons of each solution.

Ask my landlord if I can postpone rent by one month

PROS:

She may say yes, and I will be off the hook this month

CONS:

I will feel embarrassed when I ask her

I will need to pay double the rent next month

STEP 5: Create a plan and take action!

Specify WHEN and HOW you will take action.

Actions Steps

Monday- Ask manager if I can pick up extra shifts

Tuesday- If manager says no, ask landlord if I can postpone rent

Wednesday- Book appointment with financial counsellor for Friday so I can learn financial skills

Friday- See financial counsellor

STEP 6: EVALUATE THE OUTCOME

Take a moment to evaluate how effective the plan was. Decide whether the existing plan helped your situation, or needs to be revised to better address your problem.

If the plan does need to be revised, return to STEP 3 and come up with new solutions. Or return to STEP 4 and revise the existing plan and continue with the steps.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Problem-solving is a life skill. And skills take time to learn. Next time you find yourself worrying about a solvable problem, set some time aside, sit down with a piece of paper, and try problem-solving. Problem-solving is more productive than worrying and by the end of the process, you'll have a plan of action!

If you've tried problem-solving why not comment below. What happened? What was the outcome? Your feedback is graciously welcomed. :)


6 views

Follow

Contact

604.353.6732

Address

Blackcomb Way, Whistler, BC, Canada

©2017 by kulea counselling